Covidious Conundrum

As promised in Corona, Corona, it's time to put the band back together to address a number of subjects related to the coronavirus.

We'll have team coverage featuring Helmut Vallindaklopf in Washington, D.C., Ramona Vallindaklopf in Genoa, Italy and Wolfgang Majoris in Bangkok, Thailand.

JM: "Helmut, let's start with you. You're at the ground level of this pandemic crisis, literally as well as figuratively, in your basement apartment on Connecticut Avenue."

HV: "True, JM. Herr Gropenfuhrer has claimed he was being sarcastic when he suggested the idea of injecting disinfectant. Tens of thousands of Americans die, and what does he do? He spreads bad information, reinvents history, concocts weird science and challenges anybody who questions his authority."

RV: "That is correct, brother. However bad things are here in Italy, it's hard not to feel sorry for Americans. The country he promised to make great again has never seemed so pitiful. Over the years, the U.S. has stirred a wide range of emotions, but never pity. They are stuck with a malignant narcissist."

WM: "Today, the lies are no longer about the size of his audience, or the fruits of sucking up to Korea and China. The bill has come due for his contempt of truth and competence. The U.S. has reacted like a country with shoddy infrastructure and a dysfunctional government whose leaders are too corrupt or stupid to avert mass suffering."

JM: "Some interesting perspectives here, to be sure. Herr Gropenfuhrer appears to be a master magician. He's lucky. But, it's a funny thing about luck; it eventually runs out. In any event, it will be a long time before America is great again. What a pity. We will reconvene our team as the conventions draw near."