Empire Of The Sun

Allow me to introduce you to Wolfgang Majoris, Greater Asian and Australian correspondent for the GonzoPR blog spanning a beat from Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia in the north to Delhi, India and Ceylon on the south, and from Karachi, Pakistan in the west to Brisbane, Australia and Christchurch, New Zealand on the east.

“Wolf,” as he is known, holds a doctorate in Chinese from the University of California in Berkeley and currently resides in Bangkok, Thailand. His undergraduate degree is in journalism from the University of Oregon in Eugene. Wolf is known among friends as “Big Dog,” and he wields a mighty pen, as they say.

As editorial director and grand poobah of the Gonzo PR blog, I conducted a video call with Wolf from his home base in Thailand to discuss the goings-on in China -- particularly Hong Kong -- but also North Korea, South Korea and the entire east side of the Pacific Rim. What he had to say was alarming, but not terribly surprising, to most voters in this country. Here's the transcript:

JM: “Good morning, Wolf, I know it’s early in Bangkok, but it’s approaching cocktail hour here in the states.”

WM: (groggy) “Yes, it’s early here. I’m just having tea.”

JM: “Lots happening in East Asia. What’s the political climate?”

WM: “Chaos, even more than usual. No country in these parts can trust the U.S. anymore. South Korea feels more isolated than ever. And we know how they feel about North Korea. South Korea is desperate; they’re looking to Japan for support. How weird is that? They have an inbred hatred for the Japanese dating back centuries, and especially during World War II.”

JM: “Strange times, to be sure. But China has been the focal point of news reports here in the U.S. What can you tell us, Wolf?”

WM: “They have their own troubles. Trade war with Herr Gropenfuhrer, riots in Hong Kong, and general unrest in Tibet and other parts of China.”

JM: “And Japan?

WM: “They don’t know where to turn either. It’s a mess.”

JM: “So what you’re saying is Herr Gropenfuhrer’s foreign policy approach in the Far East is a dismal failure.”

WM: “Without question. Clearly, only a demented screwhead could ignore the obvious: he’s dumber than a rock. He shows blatant disregard for concerns about Chinese repression, and cares not about democracy anywhere. He won’t discuss human rights if it interferes with his monkey business. He’s a greed head.”

JM: “Yes. I prefer my presidents to be smarter than me. His intelligence quotient is lower than snail excrement at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. He prefers to watch Faux New rather than read policy documents. All he does at meetings is roll his eyes whenever discussion turns serious, although he may interject an inane comment like: ‘Did you see my crowd size for my visit to El Paso? Bigger than Beto’s!’ He'd rather tweet from the cheap seats.”

WM: “No doubt. This trade war is bad for everybody, including the U.S. There will be no winners here. As far as he is concerned, any bad news is somebody else’s problem, including all of Southeast Asia.”

JM: “What’s next on your radar, Wolf?"

WM: “South Korea. I worry about our allies, so my next communique will be somewhere south of the DMZ, but not Seodaemun prison. I‘ll be eating kimchee and sucking Beck's at the Ibis Seoul Hotel.”

JM: “Yuck. I cannot abide cabbage. But I will drink German bier.”

WM: “Fair enough, JM. I’ll check in with you from Seoul, where the streets have no name.”

JM: “Ciao, mio amico. Until then.”