Maurice And Me

Having just graduated from the University of Oregon School of Journalism as a redshirt senior, I departed Eugene in early 1977 for a seasonal job working as a forestry technician on the Lake Wenatchee Ranger District of the Wenatchee National Forest. Then, the unexpected happened.

My beloved Portland Trailblazers won the NBA championship behind Bill Walton, former UCLA Bruin, and a group of refugees from the American Basketball Association, including Dave Twardzik and a Marquette University graduate, Maurice Lucas. The two leagues had merged the previous year.

Maurice was known far and wide as the "Enforcer,” the sergeant-at-arms of that underdog Portland team that clawed its way to the NBA championship, matching up with the mighty Philadelphia 76ers featuring Julius Erving, AKA Dr. J., George McGinnis, Doug Collins and other top-flight players.

After dropping the first two games, the Blazers, under the leadership of Walton and Lucas, stuffed the Sixers by winning the next four in a row after an altercation between Lucas and Darryl Dawkins, a man-child behemoth playing for Philadelphia. The Blazers returned to Portland for a parade among elated fans.

That championship for the Blazers remains the only one in team history. Unfortunately, Walton would suffer a knee injury, and the team would not recover, despite a terrific start to the next season. They came close the 1990s under the leadership of Clyde Drexler and Terry Porter, and later, Arvydas Sabonis and Brian Grant.

Fast forward to the early 1990s, when Lucas worked as a consultant for a firm that had developed a unique-for-that-time survey technology.

Lucas agreed to come to EWEB for a media conference in the lobby. Eagerly accepting his offer, a press gathering was slated.

Lunching afterward with Lucas at The Excelsior near the UO campus, I learned about our common background receiving our education from the academics from the Society of Jesus, he at Marquette University in Milwaukee, Wisconsin and me at Jesuit High School in Beaverton, Oregon. All in all, a very successful day; the local media got their story, EWEB employees in attendance were thrilled.

Lucas would go on to serve as an assistant coach for the Blazers, and was a beloved figure among players, staff members and fans alike. The team had already retired his jersey, number 20, and he was named to the all-time all-ABA team along with Julius Erving and other American Basketball Association greats.

Lucas’ son, David Lucas, played his college hoops for the Oregon State University Beavers from 2001-2005 and Luke Walton, son of the Enforcer's teammate and Hall of Famer Bill Walton, is named after Lucas. He underwent surgery for gall bladder cancer in 2009 and died in 2010 in the City of Roses.

Fans have high hopes for this year’s version of the Portland Trailblazers after they reached the Western Conference finals last spring. Picked to finish second in the Northwest Division, the team is led by all-star Damian Lillard and C.J. McCollum and the team hopes to exceed last year’s accomplishments. Go Blazers!

Even The Rats Smell A Rat

It’s rare where, as editorial director of the GonzoPR blog, I must rely on the entire brain trust on a conference call: Helmut Vallindaklopf, in D.C., covering the Americas, Ramona Vallindaklopf, in Genoa, Italy, covering Europe, Middle East and Africa, and Wolfgang Majoris, in Bangkok, Thailand, covering Asia and Australia.

As none other than Raoul Duke, AKA Hunter S. Thompson, duly noted, “truth is weirder than any fiction we’ve ever seen, and in a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity.” In Herr Gropenfuhrer’s corrupt administration, even the rats recognize the stench. How ironic.

In just the past couple of weeks, we’ve seen bizarre goings on in Syria, Turkey and the Ukraine, the heartland of our nation’s capital in Washington D.C. and Florida, and in China, where even the National Basketball Association has apparently succumbed to greed and avarice over the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution.

JM: “Greetings, everyone. Thanks for joining me despite the variance in time zones. Let’s start with Helmut: what’s the climate look like in D.C. as you toil in your basement lair on Connecticut Avenue?”

HV: “Toasty, to say the least, JM. You have the impeachment process underway. Then, Herr Gropenfuhrer announces the G7 summit will be held at his Mar-A-Loco facility in Florida, And, as you noted, even the other rats are nervous that the orange top denigrates the emoluments clause in the U.S. Constitution.”

JM: “Indeed, what a ridiculous rulebook that is -- the U.S. Constitution. Herr Gropenfuhrer only pays attention to those amendments that matter to his ‘base,’ which appears to be small and growing smaller by the day.”

HV: “Oh, and the economy isn’t that great, either. The rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer, and White House staffers are either bailing, or noticeably absent.”

JM: “True enough, HV. Next up, we have Ramona Valindaklopf reporting from her base on the Italian Rivera, where she’s covering the inept foreign policy playing out in Syria and the Ukraine. What do you have for us, RV?”

RV: “Correct, JM. We have total abandonment of our allies, the Kurds, who were helping us beat back ISIS. Meanwhile, the Turks and Russians are filling the resulting void. Herr Gropenfuhrer is a weakling among the real strongmen around the world.”

JM: “And what of the Ukraine connection? Wasn’t the current president, Volodymyr Zelensky, an actor and comic who played, ironically, the president of the Ukraine in a sitcom?”

RV: “Indeed, he was. Before his election, he was last seen playing the piano with his, uh, johnson. Rudy Giuliani, Herr Gropenfuhrer’s personal lawyer known as the New York City subway of New York City mayors, attempted to initiate an investigation on Joe Biden and his son. Of course, he is in deep doo-doo with the impeachment hearing. Meanwhile, Ivanka, Beavis and Buttlead, Herr Gropenfuhrer’s progeny, are laying lower than snail shit on the bottom of the ocean.”

JM: “Wolfgang, let’s shift to Southeast Asia, where the National Basketball Association has sold its soul to the devil for profits over free speech in the U.S.”

WM: “Yep, that about sums it up. China has banned all preseason NBA games on state television and at least two large Chinese companies have dropped Houston Rockets gear. Even Lebron James has acquiesced in the interest of money and image after Houston Rockets GM Daryl Morey tweeted support for the protesters in Hong Kong.

JM: “Meanwhile, China’s Xi Jinping is a real strongman to Herr Gropenfuhrer’s mental midget.”

WM: “Yes. And China continues to eyeball Nepal, which suspects foul play. As Raoul Duke would say about Herr Gropenfuhrer: ‘You have to get paid for it or else you’re going to be locked up.’”

JM: “Hey, now there’s an idea. Lock him up. Well, that’s all the time we have this week. Check in with you all soon to keep tabs on this ongoing Kafkaesque nightmare.”

The Boy Scout And The Brainiac

Herewith begins a new series of tales from my career as a public relations coordinator for a once prominent Northwest public utility from 1986-2008. There, I met all kinds of interesting characters, many of whom I worked for and admired, and any number of others inadvertently brought together by happenstance.

This story focuses on the latter: a random series of incidences I call the Boy Scout and the Brainiac. But before I begin weaving that tale, allow me to introduce the characters: one William (Bill) Eaton (above), retired utility education coordinator; and Amory Lovins (below), physicist and founder of The Rocky Mountain Institute.

In the early 90s, I met the Boy Scout, retired utility geek, critic and curmudgeon with an affinity for collecting electrical antiques from the post-Thomas Edison era, frequent pest at board meetings and letter writer to practically anybody willing to listen to him. Somehow, I had had become responsible for his care and feeding.

The Brainiac, an expert on energy policy and innovator of the “nega-watt revolution,” contended that utility customers do not want more kilowatt-hours of electricity but energy management services. With at least 10 honorary doctorates and numerous awards, Lovins has provided his expertise worldwide.

Joining the utility conservation department as a communications and marketing hack for a massive, federally funded weatherization effort in the mid-1980s, I became quickly engulfed and articulate in the philosophy and practice of the nega-watt revolution as espoused by the Brainiac: conservation and renewable energy.

Of course, the Boy Scout and the Brainiac were polar opposites. Bill Eaton was Old Testament: generate electricity in mass quantities for the good of all, as characterized by Mr. Redi Kilowatt, a funny-looking little dude who was the (ahem) cartoonish face of power marketing, such as it was back in the day.

The Brainiac, on the other hand, was New Testament, with a 180-degree perspective from that of the Boy Scout. Because you can only store so much electricity in batteries, Lovins reasoned, why not only use what you need, thereby achieving balance in the force? You know, more is less and less is more.

Turns out, Lovins would be the keynote speaker at the American Public Power Association utility conference in Colorado Springs and I would be in attendance: lucky me. More good news, the gig would be held at The Broadmoor, a five-star facility in the foothills of the Eastern Rockies, red-rock country to be exact.

Eager to learn, I lapped it up. Speaking knowledgeably about energy could be perplexing. How do you talk about a product that is invisible? Strategically, of course, through end uses. Need space heat? That’s typically the biggest energy drain. Water heating? Less electricity but still a significant contributor to energy usage.

Discussing electrical generation can also be tricky business. Ask a group of Rotarians where we get our energy and you’ll hear about Northwest hydropower. Ask a group of school kids where we get electricity and they’ll point to an outlet. Both demographics are correct, of course, and should received full points.

Yet, even renewable energy has environmental issues. Hydropower creates problems for upstream and downstream fish migration, particularly salmon, a Northwest icon. Wind power affects birds and bats and things. Effects from both sources of renewables must be mitigated. And don’t get me started on fossil fuel generation.

Nonetheless, the cleanest and lowest cost energy source is conservation. Save energy right at the source: where we use it. Efficient windows and doors, insulation, natural lighting, efficient artificial lighting, passive and active solar applications. Few people know “demand-side” management like Amory Lovins.

As the presentation began, I gathered a chair in the front row, as is my style, where lots of butts disguised as empty seats joined me. I prefer a spot with access to the speaker, enhancing effective listening and note-taking opportunities and photo ops. I was so close to the Brainiac that he couldn’t help but notice my name tag.

“Hey, I want to talk to you after the session,” Lovins said. “Me?” I queried, turning around to see who he might really be addressing. “Yes, you,” he confirmed. I was puzzled but pleased that a keynote speaker of such significance would be interested in talking to the likes of me, a public relations and marketing professional.

After his presentation, I received unfettered access to the Brainiac. He knew who I worked for and was hoping to gather another Northwest utility of note as a client of E Source, his consulting group that helps utilities advance the concepts inherent with the efficient use of energy in an increasingly complex natural environment.

On my way home, I had the good fortune to sit next to the Brainiac himself on the commuter flight from Colorado Springs to Denver. Quite an interesting fellow to be sure. He explained how one Japanese client would test job candidates by having them stick their hands inside a black box.

“What was in the box,” I asked, “A tarantula?” He laughed aloud. Guffawed, actually.  I think he enjoyed my obtuse sense of humor, and we agreed that he would come to Eugene and make a presentation to my utility while conducting a news conference for the local media. Big score for yours truly.

Meanwhile, back at The Ponderosa, the Boy Scout was making preparations for his legacy: an antique appliance display for the utility featuring old electric gizmos and gadgets of all kinds. We purchased a pastry case for the small stuff and displayed the monitor-top refrigerator and larger appliances by themselves.

When the Boy Scout discovered the fact that the Brainiac would conduct a presentation and media conference at my utility, he was all in, for the wrong reasons as usual. Yes, he was that kind of troublemaker, and also known to be lecherous with the ladies he encountered in his daily travels.

The good news is that the Brainiac arrived in town promptly and provided a noteworthy presentation that was a hit with utility types and media wonks alike, and picked up another client for E Source in their endeavor to help utilities solve problems and make business decisions that serve customers well.

The Boy Scout was reasonably well behaved except for an off-color comment about Hunter Lovins, an environmentalist, lawyer, political scientist, university professor, business whiz and Amory’s then-spouse, growing nice “tomatoes” at their unique conservatory at the Rocky Mountain Institute in Snowmass, Colorado