McKenzie Cones

McKenzie Pass is a veritable wonderland of volcanic activity. Peaks like Black Crater (elevation 7,257), Belknap Crater (elevation 6,877), Four-In-One-Cone (elevation 6,258) and Scott Mountain (elevation 6,099) dot the landscape (moonscape) at the headwaters of the McKenzie River, the source of Eugene's water supply.

In a north-south alignment between Mt. Washington and North Sister at lest 125 separate eruptive centers have blazed and died in post-glacial times. These recent vents built cinder cones and covered the countryside. Lava from Sand Mountain dammed the McKenzie to form Clear Lake, the headwaters of the river.

Lava, visible from Belknap Crater and its principal satellites, Little Belknap and South Belknap, is the area's principal feature, but I can tell you that lava terrain can be hard to negotiate, so I would recommend hats, sunglasses and sunscreen. Not a good trail for dogs, though I did see a few. I wouldn't do that to my dog.

Black Crater, the tallest of this particular group of cones, is a steep shield volcano located just north of North Sister. Glaciers have carved a long cirque into the northern flank of the mountain and snow can linger late into the summer in the shady spots The summit provides stunning views of North and Middle Sisters.

Four-In-One Cone is not only challenging with rewarding workouts, but is also rich with history and geology. The Scott Trail to the four cinder cones in the Three Sisters Wilderness follows the original trail by pioneer Felix Scott, who blazed a wagon road from the Willamette Valley to Sisters and Bend in Central Oregon.

Scott Mountain, also named for the trailblazer, takes off from the McKenzie Highway just west of the pass. The trail to the summit has so many highlights that you'll scarcely notice the time passing, with lakes galore en route to the top, where an old fire lookout site can be seen. All the McKenzie Cones are highly recommended hikes.

George And Jack: Two Old Peaks

Mt. Washington and Three-Fingered Jack are both difficult to negotiate, but wonderful to attempt. I reached chicken point twice on both, but chickened out both times on each. As one of my climbing heroes, Reinhold Messner, says: “There were a lot a failed attempts when we weren’t in good form or when we got scared.”

Jack, north of Santiam Pass, is the taller of the two at an elevation of 7,841, while George, south of Santiam Pass, measures 7,794. Close but no cigar for George. Naturally, the southern routes to the summits are the least difficult, with climbing generally free and easy until chicken point. From there, things can become quite tricky.

Nope, for me, it was time to continue south to explore the cones south of Mt. Washington like Belknap Crater and Little Belknap Crater while plotting trips up to North, Middle and South Sisters and relive my Boy Scout memories of hiking up the Obsidian Trail to the Pacific Crest Trail and beyond to the Cascade Lakes Highway.

Curiouser And Curiouser

It’s times like these that make me want to turn to the wisdom of Hunter S. Thompson. So I've invited the GonzoPR team to discuss the issues at hand: Helmut Vallindaklopf, covering the Western Hemisphere from D.C., his twin sister, Ramona Vallindaklopf in Genoa, Italy, covering Europe, the Middle East  and Africa, and Wolfgang Majoris in Bangkok, Thailand covering Asia and Australia.

A Skype session is now underway, but we’re still waiting for Wolfgang to join us. He probably had too much Saki and sushi last night at one of the many fine establishments in Bangkok. What’s this? He’s trying to ring through right now, but we’re having technical difficulties, so stand by. Oops, lost him. Ah, there he is.

JM: “Wolf, what do you have to report? All hell is breaking loose around here….”

WM: “Sorry, JM. Late night last night. I’ve been tracking our little buddy from North Korea. He hasn’t come through with his ‘Christmas Surprise’ yet, but it’s only a matter of time. I’m so nervous that I hit a local cantina for some sushi and Saki."

JM: “We suspected as much, Wolf. But now let’s talk with Ramona, who’s holed up in her apartment at The Hotel Columbo near the Porto Antico. Ramona?"

RV: “Well, it’s limoncello time, but here is my report: Yes, all hell is breaking loose. Herr Gropenfuhrer continues poke the hornet’s nest known as Iran. He’e pressing for war. It’s a dangerous game. Hasn’t he ever heard of The Beatitudes?”

JM: “He hasn’t even read the Bible, Old or New Testament. He deferred when he was asked by a reporter which book he preferred, because he has read neither. More lies, deceit and greed in an attempt to be re-elected. Let’s turn to Helmut Vallindaklopf in D.C. How are things shaping up from your basement bungalow on Connecticut Avenue, Helmut?”

HV: “Well, it’s chaos, as usual. The impeachment process grinds on and Herr Gropenfuhrer and his minions continue with their evil ways. A lot of blah, blah. woof, woof, tweet, tweet. It will be a long year, as if last year wasn’t long enough. What are we to do, JM?”

JM: “Vote the bums out. Right now, I turn to Raoul Duke for wisdom, in one of his columns for the San Francisco Examiner in the 80s. He likens people like Nixon and his minions to Herr Gropenfuhrer and his minions in much the same way. He starts with a Sam Coleridge quote from the ‘Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner.'”

HV: “I know that one, where he says: ‘A thousand slimy things lived on and so did I.’ Then, Mr. Duke starts out with this lede (lead): ‘The political situation slipped another few notches, a hideous clicking and screeching of pig-iron out of control -- bad slippage with bent edges that won’t grip or hold onto anything.’”

WM: “His description of Nixon and his minions compares well to Trump and his minions: ‘There are the old timers, the vets: Boss Tweed, Joe McCarthy, Martin Borman, Caligula, Marshal Tojo, Jimmy Hoffa and a whole crowd of mutants and zombies. It is a special kind of hell for failed politicians. They are a special breed: The Shameless Ones.’”

JM: “Well that sums it up nicely. Needless to say, we must rally the troops to defeat Trumplestilskin come November. Well, that’s all for now. We’ll be chatting soon.”

23 Skidoo

In 1975, as a undergraduate at the University of Oregon School of Journalism, I conducted a wide-ranging interview with my beloved Gramma, an Italian immigrant from Isolona, Liguria, Italy. In the interview, my question was simple: why did you leave Italy? Her answer? “The smell of war.” WWI was about to begin.

The year was 1912, My Gramma, who was 19, commandeered her mother, her brother and her baby sister on a ship called the “Ancona” across the Atlantic to Ellis Island in New York City, the immigration portal to the U.S. Instead of the popular cities back east, they came to Portland, Oregon. It was time to "23 skidoo," she said.

Flash forward to 2019, and the smell of war is back. Herr Gropenfuhrer is so desperate to be re-elected that he would sacrifice his country to the threat of war with the Iranians. Sad. Unspeakable. He must go, sooner than later. If not, we must turn out in force and vote the bum out. Anybody but Trump.

Mt. Jefferson: Wilderness Guard

Much like my job as a wilderness guard on the Malheur and Wenatchee National Forests, Mt. Jefferson stands alone in a primitive wilderness that is isolated and difficult to access. The closest access point is a logging road that comes within four miles of the peak. It's all trail from there, and on an uphill incline, I might add.

Growing up in the City of Roses, the first real view I had of Mt. Jefferson was when I was climbing the south side of Mt. Hood. Otherwise, I would see the peak from I-5, or taking the scenic route up to Santiam Pass and down to the McKenzie Valley to Eugene-Springfield, home of the University of Oregon.

I became increasingly interested in climbing Mt. Jefferson as an undergraduate at the UO. As a wilderness guard/ranger/stranger already, I wanted to summit the mountain. You know, bag the peak and pass the grey poupon. Sadly, I came close twice but chickened out at chicken point. Too technical for the gear I had with me.

So I set my sights south to The Three Sisters, which was closer to Eugene-Springfield and McKenzie Pass. Plenty to explore around there. When I was in Boys Scouts, we did a summer trip up the Obsidian Trail at the pass and looped around The Husband and South Sister from the west to the Cascade Lakes Highway. I was sold.