Ramona, Ramona

Had a quick chat with Ramona Vallindaklopf, correspondent for the GonzoPR blog based at the Hotel Columbo near the Porto Antico and the Porta Soprana in beautiful downtown Genoa following the conclusion of the G7 summit. Here is her report:

JM: “Well, no trip to the Carlsberg brewery for you, meaning no Elephant Malt Liquor. How did it go otherwise?”

RV: “As you might expect, JM. More poppycock and nonsense from Herr Gropenfuhrer.”

JM: “So, no further references or discussions of purchasing Greenland from the Danes?”

RV: “Not a word. What does he think this is? The 18th century?”

JM: “Apparently. Yes, his royal pronouncement was very revealing about the man, the myth, the fool.”

RV: “Yes, he rattles an ally and clearly demonstrates how little he understands about world politics. The U.S. discovered long ago how to achieve its ends without conquests.”

JM: “Lest we forget, the military has bases worldwide. The U.S. already has access to Greenland through NATO. Herr Gropenfuhrer clearly misunderstands strategic alliances.”

RV: “Yes, his mental map of the world is viewed like a property developer playing a game of Stratego. He celebrates the military with parades and tanks like a two-bit dictator but his ill-advised budgets close bases everywhere.”

JM: “Indeed, I’d call him a baboon, but that would be insulting to baboons. He’s more of a paramecium. Well, check in when the next international crisis arises, Ramona. We won’t have to wait long.”

RV: “Will do, JM. Meanwhile, I’ll suck down a couple of Ceres, another Danish bier, since it’s cocktail hour here.”

JM: “Talk to you later, Ramona. Salud, and ciao.”