The Constant Curmudgeon

As a former newspaper editor and public relations practitioner, my job involved responding to those who had issues with the organizations I worked for. Over time, I became adept at addressing citizen and customer complaints. Now, the shoe is on the other foot. Retirement has allowed me to become a “citizen critic” myself.

Indeed, I have become one of them -- the constant curmudgeon. You know the type: people with so much time on their hands that they can write letters to the editor and otherwise hassle and harass organizations and businesses when they think something is amiss -- without fear of reprisal. Today, that person would be me.

A couple of my favorite targets include a certain sports columnist for The Oregonian and the small weekly newspaper in my adopted hometown of Leavenworth, Washington. Mind you, now, I don’t spend a whole lot of time lamenting the stale banalities of some journalists, but occasionally I have a compelling need to address their claptrap.

This month, I felt the urge to respond yet another editorial in The Leavenworth Echo. The publisher uses his weekly opinion column as a bully pulpit for ultra-conservative causes. Nothing wrong with that; he is fully within his rights under the First Amendment to take whatever position on any issue he deems appropriate and necessary.

Problem is: his approach doesn’t always follow proper journalistic protocol. For example, he’s been known to comment on letters to the editor in the same issue. This month, he writes: “Many have asked me how I put up with the flack I receive for my editorial positions (which veer to the right of Fox News). It does get frustrating at times.”

“Particularly when the critics are so clearly partisan that they have to resort to personal attacks or threats to cancel their subscriptions,” he continues. “The latter usually come at the end of an anonymous letter. I got one this week from a ’40-year reader’ who can no longer tolerate my conservative ideology.” I couldn’t resist. My response:

“I’m addressing this letter to the publisher because the editor of The Leavenworth Echo apparently has little or no role in developing the content of your op-ed pages. In reading the opinion pages of The Echo over the past few weeks, I’ve been shocked to learn that you actually have liberal friends.”

“You’d never know by reading the letters to the editor; you rarely see anyone with a liberal viewpoint commenting on those pages. Instead, you keep running puff and nonsense from the ultra-conservative Bill Cowles, who has no problem belittling citizens with his blinkered viewpoints and insulting the intelligence of people of all persuasions.”

“If you actually do have liberal friends, you likely won’t have them for much longer after suggesting that they 'watch Fox News (and) listen to Rush Limbaugh, Governor Huckabee and Megyn Kelly.' And if you’re worried about me cancelling my subscription to The Echo, you can rest easy. I won’t be doing that anytime soon.” -- Gonzo

My sense was the letter, like the last one I sent, would never see the light of day. So you can imagine my surprise when he printed it. My partner-in-crime, Helmut Vallidaklopf, suggested letting The Echo know we’ve invented an aerial spray for right-wing zealots. It doesn’t kill them; it only makes ignorance painful. Perhaps the next time.